Breaking Through Fear
Fear is a tricky, sneaky little thing. It seeps its way into tiny little crevices, where it remains, until we inspect the corners of our minds and hearts and begin the process of sweeping it away. In the book “May Cause Miracles,” author Gabrielle Bernstein says that we must simply start with a willingness to see the fear. “The first step in choosing love over fear is to understand your fear,” Bernstein writes. “You can change patterns only if you’re willing to change it.”
When we let our fears accumulate in the unacknowledged cobwebs of our mind, we have no power to change, to grow and to live a life of love and authenticity. Fear is such a powerful force that oftentimes, without us even realizing it, it will dictate our everyday decisions, actions and reactions to the world around us.
Did fear cause you to stay quiet when you had a thought to share during the meeting? Did fear stop you from booking that Costa Rica retreat? What about when you hesitated stepping foot in the gym because of how you think you may be perceived? Or maybe fear drove you to choose the safe 9-5 job instead of pursuing your passions. Fear is subconsciously (or consciously) taking the steering wheel of our life and driving us down a path of playing small, thinking small, and living much smaller lives than we were ever intended to.
Okay, I hear you… but how do I stop?!
I am so glad you asked!!
While becoming aware of your fears and transitioning from a fear mindset into a love mindset certainly isn’t easy and doesn’t happen overnight, there are a handful of practices that can help you tap into your fierce, powerful, divine and conscious self.
1. Read inspirational, motivational texts. Books I would recommend for this purpose are “May Cause Miracles” by Gabrielle Bernstein, “A Course in Miracles”, and “Shift Happens” by Robert Holden. This, of course, is not the be-all-end-all. I would encourage you to find a text that resonated deeply with you.
2. Mix up your day-to-day routine. Doing something (anything) different is a great pattern interrupt to get you to step outside of repetition, mindless work and clutter. Whether that means you take a dance class, cook something new for dinner, take a weekend long road trip, or head to a Costa Rica yoga retreat, all of these things will force you outside of your comfort zone, past various fears, and into a state of new thinking.
3. Connect. Connect. Connect. Connect. I can’t say this enough. We are not intended to do this life alone. There is safety, space to heal, and opportunity to both learn and teach when among valued and trusted friends. They say we become like the five people we spend most of our time with. Truly think about who you’re surrounding yourself with. Are they people you admire? People who you can learn from? Do you feel drained or full after spending time with them? Do they stoke up the fires of your fears or leave you feeling more calm and confident?
4. Ask for help. Time and time again, learn to ask for help. This can be via prayer, or you can ask a loving friend or family member, or you can seek professional guidance from a coach/mentor/therapist. Better yet, you may choose to do all three!
5. Journal & meditate. If you’re new to these things, I would recommend using tools that help guide you in the process. The Five Minute Journal, which is exactly as it seems, prompts you to write down things you’re grateful for, choose a daily affirmation and plot out the day’s biggest goals. As for meditating, try downloading an app on your phone like Calm or Headspace, which will audibly guide you through calming and self-reflective meditations, ranging from 1 minute to 20+ minutes.
I truly hope you find these tools useful in not only uncovering your fears, but moving past them as well. I can honestly say, from my current poolside seat at Peace Retreat Costa Rica, that it’s taken a combination of all five of these to help usher me into a new love-centered mindset. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Peace Retreat has been helpful by offering meditation workshops, a new and beautiful environment,, connection with like-minded individuals, help from on-site professionals, and much, much more.